“Not everything will be a BOOM in your life V, sometimes it’s the little steps. It’s the little bangs that lead to the massive BANGS!”

Between the mundane and the miraculous

I don’t know about you, but God tends to do most of the profound change in my life quietly in the background, not front and centre stage. Unlike some of my friends, I don’t get epic, divine visions or hear God’s audible voice or have someone prophesy to me publicly and see it come to pass. My life is much more in line with seasons of laborious work, sowing and reaping, than with “And suddenly” moments.
Yet, I often struggle with wanting to hear and see God’s ‘old testament style BOOM’ in my life and giving it more weight and faith, than His gentle guidance and affirmation. Propaganda expresses this sentiment best in a song called ‘Symbols and Signs’ by Beautiful Eulogy: “It’s boring when my life is more like the Book of Ruth than Exodus”.

For example, I’m currently looking to buy my first car and  I desperately want God to just bring it to me – like someone just gifting me my dream car of this season (they vary) or I just happen to come across it at the right price, location, colour etc. What I don’t want, is to be going through pages and pages of car ads, looking through the details of age, mileage, fuel efficiency, engine size, finance options blah, blah, blah. 
I just want a car that works, will continue to work without issues, looks nice (obvs) and I don’t have to put more effort in above paying for and maintaining it. And as much as I’m still hoping for the gifted car (feel free to contact me if you have a spare Polo/Fiesta/Golf going, in black, 12 reg upwards, preferably 5 door and petrol), I realize this desperation for the miraculous in my life, is actually sign of a deeper character flaw – impatience.

The heart of the matter

I can be incredibly impatient. I am a not-so-undercover ‘Type A’ – willing and wishing and working towards MY deadlines being met, MY goals being achieved, MY expectations being fulfilled in the time frame I have deemed appropriate.
Being both goal- and growth-oriented, I’m torn between completely appreciating the necessity of ‘process’ for the sake of authentic and long lasting growth;  and wanting to have arrived at the end goal, like yesterday. I go through seasons of being a serious contender for either the ‘Delaying gratification and denying self’, or, the ‘I can’t wait, give it to me now’ championships, if either of them existed.

Meanwhile, God keeps calling me to a more measured pace of life – somewhere, between Ruth and Exodus. Somewhere between my sacrifice and work AND God’s signs and wonders. Somewhere between Ruth and Exodus, I am learning to be faithful in my work AND hopeful in His intervention, even when circumstances look boring or beautiful or beyond redemption. I am learning to conscientiously do my part, no matter how unglamorous it may seem; trusting that God will bring the breakthrough, discharge the divine and give the growth in His perfect time. I am learning to trust that God is as much God of the mundane and sidelines, as He is God of the miracles and spotlight.

A friend of mine lovingly told me off not too long ago when I found myself in a similar rut with my job, having faithfully done the same thing for 6 years, and suddenly being so fed up, I was ready to resign with no immediate plans. She said: “Not everything will be a BOOM in your life V, sometimes it’s the little steps. It’s the little bangs that lead to the massive BANGS!” And as I read through the books of Ruth and Exodus (and others) and as I look at God’s hand on my life, I absolutely agree with her: God’s favour most consistently follows our faithfulness.

So, if you can relate, I encourage us all: “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” – Galatians 6:9